A New Beginning

Impulsive, I am not. When faced with a Major Life Decision I am more likely to mentally hunker down, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, for months on end. I make lists. I analyze every angle. I talk and I talk the subject to death. And in the end, I finally come to a decision on my own.

The last instance of this painstaking process revolved around buying a couch. It took me nearly a year to a) browse the couch offerings in half a dozen stores, all the while feeling like I was cheating on my current couch b) purchase a couch c) move my decrepit 30 year-old paisley sectional to the basement d) finally let go of my beloved paisley sectional after realizing I would never have room for it again.

Ha. Can you imagine what went on in my house as I wrestled with the idea of going to baking school?

Here is the thing no one ever tells you about Major Life Decisions. Even when it's something good, even when you're the one who decided to get on that roller coaster ride, the choice is not going to make you instantly happy. Or even excited. You're more likely to be riddled with self-doubt, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, or be just plain terrified. The little voice in the back of your head on repeat, all day, every day: what have I done?

But there might come a random moment, like a break in the clouds gracing you with a brief ray of light, when you will feel good. Or even really good. Or, dare I say it? Excited.

Finally, in response to everyone who says "You're going to study pastry? That's so exciting!" I can say, YES, I know! 

On Tuesday, May 31, I will be a student again. I'll be joining 15 other students at the Institute of Culinary Education to pursue a diploma in Pastry and Baking Arts. And yes, I am genuinely SO EXCITED to see what the future may bring.